5 Biggest Mistakes Escorts Make
What You Need to Know Monday, January 10, 2011 at 9:17PM By: ExecutiveLuxuries, TamaraG, AmandaBrooks, Meeshee "We’ve seen several ladies actually withdraw from friends and family over time. Some providers just can’t deal with the fact that they are unable to discuss the in's & outs of the business with their loved ones" Executive Luxuries - Claire & Terri
1. Lack of Boundaries
"Like a drug addict struggling through withdrawals a provider who becomes isolated suddenly finds herself sharing personal information with clients that should be kept private"
This is a dangerous predicament. We’ve all heard stories about the provider stressed out over a former client who showed up at her home, threatening to tell her family, or worse, appeared at her child’s school. This wouldn’t be a factor if she never revealed her personal life to her client in the first place. Defining a healthy (we said healthy, not perfect) personal life lends to a well-rounded, more emotionally secure person, an intensely appealing disposition to clients.
When you create your persona (your work character) include a background. Create a story that you can add and take away from that gives your working persona more depth but doesn’t endanger your “real” life. I know ladies who are obsessed with soap operas and use part of a character’s storyline to build their personas.
"At the end of the day your client doesn’t really care that your son got an ‘A’ on his spelling quiz"
He doesn’t want to see the video clip of your puppy in a tutu, and he doesn’t want to hear that your boyfriend/husband/girlfriend doesn’t value you as a person. His whole purpose of being there is to focus on HIM.
We advise our clients to use separate phones for work. Do not use your personal cell or landline. There’s no reason to ever email a client from your personal email. Email is also a great substitute for taking calls. Executive Luxuries assists our ladies in converting their clients from phone to email. The only time a client is given the providers number is after he’s been screened and has booked an appointment.
Executive Luxuries – Claire & Terri
"Raising rates is a sign of success, not desperation. It always reflects well on you" Amanda Brooks
2. Not Charging Enough
If you are unhappy with the quality of your clientele or teetering on the edge of burnout you probably need to raise your rates. Even a small increase could change your target market or slow down the volume enough so that you can enjoy your life and your work.
Raising your rates could make the difference between working to make money verses enjoying your work as part of a better life.
The difference in clientele is remarkable when you jump from charging $200/hr to $300/hr.
The difference between $300/hr or $500/hr isn't so remarkable in most cities. Taking your location into consideration is important as well. Will raising your hourly rate be enough to make a difference? Or will you make the leap toward requiring a two- or three-hour minimum? Mathematically, there is no difference between charging $300/hr or $600/2hrs but it will dramatically change your clientele and the overall mood of your appointments.
If you do decide to give yourself a raise, support the increase by refreshing your website and advertisement text. Proofread and edit like a grammar teacher! Investing in new, professional-quality photos will help sell your new rate better than anything else. Amanda Brooks
"A lot of these Women give in too easily to the pressure of showing their faces and risk the threat of long term damage to their private lives, families and friends" Tamara G
3. Showing Face
These are hard, economic times we live in and there are many women who go public – e.g., show face in photos - because they feel they won't make any money unless they do. Many feel that it’s expected of them to expose their identities. A large number are impressionable, young women who naively choose the wrong way to go.
Ladies, think twice before you decide to show your face.
"It is Quite Possible That Your Photos are Actually Working Against You and Stifling Your Business" Meeshee
4. Mediocre Photos
Many women know that they need new photos and yet don’t do anything about it. They talk of slow business and lack of quality clientele. Even if you feel that you can’t afford it, set aside earnings every time you work until you’ve saved up enough money to invest in a professional photo shoot. Make it your mantra to get those new photos.
"I have heard from many clients whose business increased shortly after they posted their new photos. Good photos just work. It’s that simple"
Examine your photos. Notice the color balance. Too yellow? Too blue? Too much glare? Are they sharp or blurry? Notice your figure. Are your curves in all the wrong places? Or are your assets smiling back at you? Go online or to a bookstore and peruse sensual photos of women in magazines. Study images that look similar to you in height, weight and style and that appeal to you. Compare those images to yours. Notice any differences? Now go home and rummage through your lingerie drawer. If you don’t have any, get creative. Find some scarves, hats, jewelry, silky sheets or stockings.
Think about what postures and angles flatter you most. Practice in front of the mirror, carefully studying your body’s best angles and most attractive facial expressions (if you show face). If tummy isn’t your strong point, stretch out. Don’t crunch up. If booty isn’t as bubbly as you’d like, focus on silhouettes or curves without focusing straight on. For more on getting to know yourself for self-portraits, go here. Don’t get down about your figure or the fact that you really want professional photos. You are about to take your own photos without a professional photographer around to instruct you on what to do. So you must get to know yourself, your strong points and your weak points. We all have them. Grab your camera or borrow one from a friend.
Prop up your camera on a tabletop if you don’t have a tripod and take some simple photos, first making sure that you are at the proper level with your camera. You’ll have to do a little measuring and eye balling. Shoot in natural light as relying upon lamps or house lights will create an unnatural, yellow or blue glow in your photos. Don’t overdo it with fancy postures and don’t try to look like a movie star. Keep it simple. You will probably have to take a lot of photos since this is a trial and error process and you’re not a pro. Practice patience. Have a friend critique your photos, remembering that you can crop or adjust light and contrast on your computer in something like Microsoft Office Paint or Picture Manager.
"How do you think self-made, successful entrepreneurs make it? They have to start somewhere. And usually they start from scratch"
If you keep at it, you’ll get some decent photos and maybe even some really good ones. You might not be Annie Liebowitz but you will end up with better photos than the ones you have now. Once your new photos are posted and your clientele begins to increase you will be in a stronger position to put money aside for professional photos. If you have the determination, you will succeed. Meeshee
"Any small business owner will tell you that you must invest in your business" Executive Luxuries - Claire & Terri
5. Unwilling to Invest in Their Business
Even if you started out as a provider with cell phone photos, no website and handling your own bookings don’t be afraid to upgrade your advertising & marketing to reflect the level of experience you’ve worked so hard to achieve.
As a provider, one of the best things you can do to free up your time to focus on yourself, your clients and the bigger picture is to hire a trusted assistant/booker to become your ‘lady in waiting’.
An assistant will help maximize your time by working behind the scenes scheduling new appointments while you’re already in one. Most times an assistant will actually start working before your first appointment of the day and finish working well after your last appointment of the evening. She will take care of your marketing & advertising and manage all the research necessary to keep you on top of your game. Not all assistants/bookers are created equal. Do you homework when hiring an assistant.
Maintaining a good website is absolutely one of the largest and most important investments any provider will make during her career. Make sure it is simple, uncluttered, man friendly and provides all the information that a potential client will need and nothing more. Many ladies create websites that suit their personal taste while forgetting that the website wasn’t built to entice her, it was built to entice him. Many details are to be considered when building a website and hiring a webmaster.
Become tech friendly. The internet is your medium through which to reach your target market. Know how to use your computer. Get familiar with the rules & guidelines on the forums and websites on which you advertise. Every provider should be using a smart phone. Maximize its use to juggle your busy schedule from any location. Executive Luxuries – Claire & Terri
Reader Comments (12)
Some very interesting and useful information.
I particularly like the suggestion by Meeshee that escorts take their own photos if they can't afford professional ones. I'd never even thought of that!
'Exec' are totally right about not sharing personal information with clients.
And I'm glad Amanda Brooks points out that even what seems a small increase in rates can invite hugely better experiences with clients.
Tamara G x
II can attest to the fact that the mathematical equation for more money starts with better photos. I booked a photo shoot with Meeshee for late 2010. My new photos are a more accurate representation of not only my appearance but my personality, my "vibe" and who I am than any of my old photos. Current clients LOVE the private members only section of my website where the photos get decidedly racy. They are drawn back to my site over and over. New clients are enticed, seduced and provoked into booking appointments. My bookings have increased and the quality of my clientele has never been higher.
Taking the new photos involved some planning, some lingerie organization and
The photos were a significant investment but I have already seen the results. I have more than doubled my investment already in income. I also enjoy the pictures for their artistic nature. Seeing myself as Meeshee saw me increased has increased my awareness. I am more aware of my sensuality and the beauty of being a woman.
Tamara is right - while DIY photos (do it yourself) might seem challenging, doing so in baby steps can really provide a means to an end, increased income and eventually, being able to afford professional photos.
Sophia, I only revealed the lovely woman inside of you who wanted to shine through. And that was because you allowed me to do so. xoxo
You are case in point of realizing your investment of new photos more than 100%. :-D
I have been in business for several years and I agree with this article about keeping rates at 300 and not showing your face in photo. I think what has happened is that girls allowed themselves to be bullied by certain clients and other girls that posted lower rates and face in photos. They worried that they would not make money. The truth is, when you do keep your rate and discretion you do still make money, your clientele is better and you work less for the same amount that the others work more for. Working less means that when you do see a client, you are more fresh and your time with client is more relaxed. At least, that is my opinion. Also when you are very discreet with yourself the clients that want discretion for themselves appreciate the face that you are so discreet. At least this has been my experience and it has worked. I feel that if a girl wants to call herself high class or elite in the business that she needs to behave in this manner and be discreet about herself in her photos. This is my advice and opinion.
I have to agree with all of this.
My photos were professionally done from the beginning, and almost every respondent made comments about how very high class I appeared, compared to many others. And the advice about not trying to look like a movie star is also very good. I came from a background in modeling years ago, and it's no secret to me that we've all got our good sides and not-so-good sides. And yes, you absolutely do have to invest in at least decent lingerie. You'll be able to afford better later on, and to start out, buying cheaper stuff will still work. Put some money into your photographs. Trying to do them yourself could turn out to be a time-consuming and frustrating chore, unless you know what you are doing somewhat with a camera. A professional who really knows cameras, techniques and has a very good eye is truly worth the money. It's an investment.
As far as pricing, my experience in marketing only supports what is written here. I'll also add that there is a perception created whenever any of us see something that we thought we could have for such-n-such amount of money, only to find out we were looking at something much more expensive. Suddenly, it becomes more valuable. This is true for escorts, as well as shoes and clothing, vacations, food, cars--anything.
Of course, if you are going to charge more, you've got to deliver more than just a high-price tag. Deliver. Exceed expectations. But thinking of yourself as high class, and for the high class only will also go a long way toward your perception in the eyes of clients and potential clients.
Don't heed the advice to come down on price or offer specials. On clearance? Me? I don't think so. Even in this economy, there are plenty of people with money to spare for the finer things in life. I'm one of those finer things. End of story. I went up on my rates and after reading this, I think I'm going to have longer minimum sessions. I'd like to work less and enjoy myself more. I am worth it. My clients will no doubt appreciate someone who is not as tired too.
As for discussing your own private, personal life? Men don't like it in "real life," and they surely do not want to hear about it in this context. Hush about your personal life and frustrations. You're earning money to bring pleasure to someone else. Find your friends elsewhere, or hire a therapist.
I have yet to solve the problem of my own loneliness since I began this endeavor. Simply put, there are just too many people I know who would never even try to understand and who would judge me harshly. That does not even touch the issue of my professional reputation. But that's my own problem, isn't it? I do have to keep my mouth shut, and I have done so quite well. Still, my absences have created problems for me, with friends who are just too nosy, or who are just curious. I'm considering moving to protect my own privacy.
Oh and about those photographs? I never show my face in any ads. Yes, after seeing someone, I will sometimes send a photo that shows my face, but never, ever, ever in an ad. Anyone who does that is either so bold that she has no fear of being exposed, or she's naive. Show your long legs. Show your lovely derriere. Show your feet, your breasts, show anything but your face.
The only thing I can think of to add to this list is to treat yourself well. Don't go overboard spending money, be smart, but do treat yourself well. You may have lost the ability to talk about work with others, but you're earning money and you ought to treat yourself well. Don't be brazen, but don't be cheap with yourself.
Diana - thank you SO much for sharing. Your comment is an article in itself! xoxo
So many folks in the industry are struggling and looking for direction. Your approach to the business resounds with confidence and that is so important. Loneliness can plague anyone and it is a silent suffering. But bringing it into your business (any business, for that matter) is poison.
Please, keep up your golden comments and if ever interested in writing for The Diaries, email me.
Meeshee
xoxo
I love this piece! I am new to the industry, and at this point am only offering erotic massage. I started at $200/hr then went up to $250 after my first few clients commented on how decidedly different their experience was with me than other "therapists."
When I first started, I also just had photos from Facebook, not even decidedly erotic ones. Within three weeks I found a friend who's a photographer, and did a trade with her for a three hour shoot just with stuff from my closet. Now, my $250 rate plus the website I designed myself is giving me awesome clients! Doctors, Lawyers, Franchise owners, Investors, Hollywood Producers. These men are asking permission to touch me, and for the most part, very respectful. I even had one gentleman hire me as just a dinner date for two hours, no massage at all.
I'm sure I could have more clients if I was charging under $100 like most of the women who offer "body-rubs," but I'd be dealing with a lot of men I don't want to deal with, working my arse off, and get burned out.
Now, I have plenty of time for my other creative endeavors, and this profession ends up being a delicious addition, not a drain on my heart and soul.
One a side note (sorta) I spoke to another provider who's an escort, and charges $250/hr PLUS pays for a hotel room. She's been in the biz for six years and has gorgeous photos. I suggested that she charge more, and she balked, saying there's no way the market could bear it. Even when I told her that I was charging $250 for massage, she wasn't willing to consider it.
Amazing.
I showed my face when I worked in Chicago. Now Im in Dallas and I'm thinking about blurring my face in pictures now. I got most of the other sites that i posted my face on to delete my old post. It seems like a hassle but I'm just going to stick with it and blur my face and all my new photos that I take I will blur my face and not use my old photos any more. Thanks for all the great info.
I simply do not agree with having to HIDE ONES FACE. Not all of us escorts are ashamed, and are not hiding the fact that we are escorts. Most men rather see the face, as anyone can have a nice body, and this is why bait and switches occur so easily. While I completely understand the need of some escorts to remain anonymous, I think it a personal choice and am put off when I hear negative comments about face pics.
The men know there are 1000's of escort around that have great bodies, that are not at all attractive in the face. So when the client shows up and yes it is the escort from the profile, but he is SURPRISED to find her face is not as nearly attractive as her body.
Personally I think the ads with half naked images are skanky and attract the rift raft clients, and much rather show my face than skanky pics that attract losers..
As far as having an assistant answering your phone, and doing the booking and screening. The clients hate talking to anyone other than the escort he wants to see. It is hard enough to get a client to trust the escort with his screening info, let alone a 3rd party. This also send the message that your a HIGH VOLUME provider, or with an agency.
This also creates the setting for misunderstandings, because the clients will claim the assistant did not explain things correctly or gave them inaccurate information.
As an escort that use to own agencies, I would never trust another person to screen or book my calls, because I can not ensure what they have said or promised to the client, after all they are getting paid for each client they book.
Boundaries
Clients often share very intimate details and, being human, it is sometimes very hard not to reciprocate. I'm part-time in this industry and many of my clients are women who need to share something very private that they can't tell anybody else, and I'm a lot better than a psychologist! The desire to reciprocate is strong, and is strengthened because many workers often don't have somebody they can really share with, on a confidential basis.
I have this problem because my main job is a very distinct professional career and never the twain shall meet.