Dating a Companion
"I know that what I do as an occupation does not define who I am as a person, but I wonder how much it shapes the way people perceive me" Tylor Blake
Throughout the last five years of working as a companion there were times when I was in a serious relationship, times when I was single and times when I was dating. Actually, when I first started, I was in a relationship and fully disclosed to my partner the fact that I was entering into the world of escorting. In fact, I have always been upfront about that fact very early on in a relationship. I find it nearly impossible to form a genuine connection with a person if I begin with deception.
I have met several ladies over the years, also companions, some of whom I consider associates, and some friends. I have met the men in their lives, husbands or boyfriends. Some were in what I would call "monogamous" relationships, and by that I mean that the two partners slept only with each other, with the exception of her work.
Work was considered work but to do something "off the clock" was considered betrayal
I have known ladies who were in open relationships in which they both allowed each other to have sex with whomever they chose. At the end of the day came home to each other. I have come across ladies who believed they are unable to sustain a healthy relationship as a companion and chose to put dating on hold until after they had retired.
I think about the qualities of a man who decides to enter into a relationship with a companion. Here are 2 contrasting descriptions:
He must be a confident man who is very secure with himself
He is able to distinguish that a companion’s work is just that - work. I asked a man that dates a provider who I know what he felt were the challenges of the relationship. He said, "It requires a certain mindset that I have to be open-minded, extremely secure and remember she is the woman I love and that is why I am with her."
The man who is dependent on a companion is not quite as ideal. I knew a lady who dated a man who had no motivation or ambition and became reliant upon her as she was the breadwinner.
The big question for me has always been how much to reveal and how soon
Most people have a need to come home, unwind and talk about their work day. Sometimes, I need to vent. However, I don't know how healthy it is for the man in my life to hear details about the gentlemen I meet. I think I risk the potential of causing him to feel insecure. However, there are things that I need to share so that he can understand me. It’s a constant balancing act that I struggle with daily.
Written by Tylor Blake, Guest Author for Geisha Diaries
10 Comments Share Article | Email Article | tagged Tylor Blake, companion, dating a companion, escort 
Reader Comments (10)
This article hits home. I actually met my boyfriend while I was working as an escort. It is very difficult to keep a healthy balance in the relationship. We are doing well and I am not longer working as an escort. It was my decision to stop since I didn't want to be with anyone else but him.
Brooke
Brooke - I'm happy that your relationship is working out. All relationships require sacrifice at some point. Best of luck to you! xoxo
That is wonderful. Good for you for making the best decision to have happiness in your life. Very inspiring!
This, ironically, has been exactly the crux of my problem as well. I worked originally in a brothel. I learned the art of my profession from some of the best. Safety first. The men want it all. The GFE without the work relationships really do take. The fun part, without the bad times. That's what I really want too. I loved just working 3 weeks solid, then nothing but fun and games for a whole week! I wish it was still that way, but alas, the brothels are really hurting due to the internet.I really like my job.The hours, and the cash. I like the way it is most of the time. Everybody has bad days in any business, but I found out the hard way, it's best not to talk about it to your significant "other". It causes trouble in the relationship every time. I call it the cold distance. Those warm fuzzy snuggles watching movies, intimate what I call normal things, like picnics,fairs, bar-b-cues, are never going to be the same, until you straighten it out. That phone rings, and everything in the relationship stops. And he knows, I can see it in his eyes. His job is not doing so well, I am the bread winner,I wear the pants, call the shots, and the shift is ironic.The traditional roles have changed. We finally had the discussion.Just assume when we go anywhere that I've slept with everyone in the room, but I'll never love anyone the way I love you, and no one will ever touch me the way you do, and all of my life you need to know, I'd rather be with you. And one day, my beautiful soul mate, I will!
Brianna - your comment is so beautiful and a story in itself. I have a lump in my throat! If you'd like to write something for the Diaries, email me. :-D xoxo
I am an escort who is dating a man that approached me on barter terms the first time and from there we have just really kicked it. I'm a smart woman when it comes to keeping the ball in his hand no matter where the court. I have also made it so that he is the one who is expressive on certain situations and feelings towards me... towards "this". I don't know what he wants from me... this is something I think about from time to time, but don't ponder the subject. I'm a Taurus and he is a Leo. He seems secure enough to handle this... I as a woman believe in being faithful and loyal so to become his woman would not be wise because I don't have time for the heartache with him feeling I should stop because I'm not. I haven't reached any of my goals and I did not resort to escorting for myself. I have put myself on hold for my children. This is a touchy, scary subject to be an escort and take a "John" serious. You have to wonder if they will be faithful to you. Do they get on escort sites and browse or more... are they thieves? Grimy? Molesters... these are things you have to really be skilled at finding out personally because think about it... no pun when I say these are perverted folks with taboo fetishes and the things that can get their rocks off are limitless. I believe that it takes a strong person on each end to establish a trust and know that work is work. I honestly believe in my mind that having sexual encounters for compensation and being in a relationship is entirely different. Just as he would have to worry if you are seeing clients off the clock or still working when you claim to be retired, or still except monetary donations. Just as I as an escort wonders if he is an honest, loyal, faithful man... a man with integrity.
Am I the only escort who is finding that the current economic recession is dampening business? I have never known it to be so bad.
Phoebe - no, you're not alone. The recession is having a worldwide, rippling effect. However, there are pockets of ladies who are still busy. How are they doing it? These are some of the secrets that we try to highlight here on The Diaries. Some of those ladies are those who have been touring long before the recession hit (however, many who were are also feeling the pinch); some had strong clientele before the recession hit and their business continues (though they themselves are surprised); while others have decided to 'get smart', if you will, and revamp their marketing strategies. What I have seen is that those who define a narrowly targeted marketing plan are the ones who are doing business. Many of them talk about their experiences here in the articles. Browse around and see what you find.
I am completely familiar with this situation. I started escorting two years ago. My boyfriend had lost his job. I started escorting to keep us in the lifestyle we were accustomed to. He was fine with it, as a matter of fact, he was too comfortable with it. Long story short--for a year I paid every bill in the household(including payments on a new truck and new motorcycle). One day, he broke up with me and I found out he was dating a friend of mine. To top it off--he outed me to everyone we knew!!! This girl will never be so stupid as to trust again.
Tara - it's a shame to hear that your story had a sad ending. You were trying to help the financial situation with your boyfriend and it backfired on you. Trust is a value that is reserved for a select few. When trust is violated, it's very painful. But that doesn't mean that there are those who can be trusted. I do hope that you will again find that someone who is special to you and whom you can trust.
Meeshee
xoxo