"Is it possible for a British punter or an American hobbyist to actually maintain a friendship with a companion or escort?" Guest Author, Capital Punter
I’ve heard it is quite unusual in America, but I do know escorts in the U.S. who are good friends with hobbyists. However, I would have to say it is uncommon for a companion to be on close terms with a punter in the United Kingdom.
Based upon my personal research, striking a punter and escort friendship requires two people who are on the same wave length and share the same level of trust and openness
The very nature of an escort/client relationship thrives upon discretion, each side defining their personal boundaries and threshold of trust. To reach the point where one can fully trust someone else takes time and will vary for every party. Reciprocal trust is beyond our control, except for engendering it by our actions.
There have been numerous occasions when I have felt a close affinity to a companion
Our interests and tastes resembled, our outlooks matched and we enjoyed each other's company immensely. However, the relationships did not last. Maybe it was because we did not share common ground on every level where there was absolute trust and complete tolerance of each other. In my opinion, that’s when the relationships ended. Many of the dynamics of escort hobbyist relationships run parallel to those relationships that we experience in our personal lives whether with wives, girlfriends or lovers. However, in the context of the escort and client interaction, I appreciate that one must maintain a measured degree of distance to preserve one's own anonymity while respecting that of the other as well.
It takes a great deal of time and many meetings to feel that I want to lower my barriers completely. Whilst I feel I am a fair judge of character, I have made too many mistakes in this area to feel that I can trust my judgment at all times. Therefore, I have to be convinced that I am doing the right thing in being candid. When I have done so, it has normally been in response to a companion having already been very open and accepting of me.
Striking the right balance
In any relationship, there is a fine balance to be achieved between being too open and being too distant. I find that if there is not even a basic, fundamental level of trust that develops after seeing someone many times over a long period, the relationship will not last. By the same token, I never wish to pry into a companion’s private affairs, so I will not ask personal questions. However, I make it clear that it is not due to a lack of interest in her as a person but rather a desire to be modest and respectful. I am forthright about myself to a degree that I feel the relationship warrants. If my companion reciprocates, I am more open. If she is reserved, I tend to hold back and this dance limits the longevity of the relationship.
Everyone will have a different definition of friendship, particularly in a companion and punter scenario
I know two companions very well. We know everything about each other. There are no secrets and where we can discuss anything. Indeed, I have told them things about myself I have never told even my family or closest friends and they have disclosed things to me in total confidence as well. The interesting point with each lady is that they confided in me before I revealed myself. Now we email or text daily and speak on the phone between meetings. Our meetings are always pre-arranged to conform to our personal schedules.
Our trust in each other must be absolute
Probably the most touching facet of this form of intimacy came recently during an unfortunate incident I experienced with another companion whom I thought I knew well (see what I said about my personal judgment?!). Both ladies called to check on my well being and both made it clear how they would like to stay in touch even if I decide to retire from the hobby. This meant so much to me on a fundamental level, "a friend in need" and all that. In fact, had it not been for them, I would not have written this story.
In all of our interactions in life, the degree of respect which we exhibit and with which we are afforded will determine the strength and direction of the relationship.I never coerce anyone to disclose anything they do not wish to share but it is still all about meeting half way. I cannot be open and totally accepting of someone if I am regarded with suspicion, doubt or lack of trust in return. As I mentioned earlier, things take time, of course. If I am not compelled to reciprocate, I will not prolong the acquaintance.
My companion friendships are very close because they are based upon mutual respect and trust
This is primarily because quite literally, know each other very intimately. Each has blossomed over quite a long time into what we enjoy now, as any true relationship evolves and cannot be forced, but also has to be nurtured by both sides void of alterior motives. As a result, all of our meetings are sheer pleasure. I enjoy sharing different experiences with each and discussing things we would like to share, even outside of the bedroom too. Are such experiences really so rare? I do not know, as I have only my own experiences from which to draw upon and the anecdotal opinions of others.
Often, the most touching moments are the ones away from the bed
I have relished truly touching stories shared by other escorts, so I in no way regard myself as unique. I know many companions who have some wonderful clients and share intensely personal moments together. Readers probably have their own definitions and experiences to consider. These are mine and I believe such friendships are quite possible and there is nothing inherently wrong with them. The fact that most companions I know say they have their “special clients” corroborates my point of view.
Is this unique to the UK scene? I have no idea, but I believe not, based on what I have heard from companions overseas.