Energy was always a tool I used and with time I began to understand the gifts I possessed with my hands
Massage was an organic skill that flowed within me and I realized that I connected best through touch. With little effort, I refined my gift. I spent the better part of my life training in all modalities of bodywork, energy work, Western medicine, Ayurveda and massage. I began the process of creating a style that suited my life. It was important that my work include Tantric rituals, allowing me to explore the full depths of my passions and personal fetishes.
When I dropped my clothing for my first sensual massage, nudity felt natural and Pandora’s Box exploded
I have always been comfortable in my skin. The life that I knew so well could no longer be put together no less closed. In the beginning, it was titillating to say the very least. My sensual work slowly became a fulfillment of all I had ever sought. For the first time I had discovered an outlet for my femininity, sensuality & passion. My Tantric work allowed me to fully blossom as a radiant, feminine woman.
My sensual work took on a life of its own. Without marketing or pushing, I made a name for myself within two years. My eyes opened and gears shifted. The time came to approach my sensual world as I did other business ventures and take my private, little secret out of the closet.
I made it my job to become as educated as possible by researching and understanding all aspects of my new world. I searched for all of the rock stars, asked key questions and networked. I am a Leo with a Scorpio rising and when I do something, there is no half way and there certainly is no second place. I sought only those who were at the top of their fields. I offer my clients a unique and exclusive service not so easily expressed through marketing. I know the significance of surrounding myself with the right people.
This business is like no other and as a non adult business entrepreneur you are not prepared to enter this culture
I spent months lurking through websites and getting a lay of the land. Talk about a fun research project. I already love what I do and to find others with the same mindset was a beautiful epiphany. I recruited the best of the best. I knew I needed a professional website , photos, content and business consulting because I definitely did not want to fool myself by thinking I could do it all.
I was led to Veda Designs by a Tantrika in Los Angeles and after much research Veda seemed to stand out head and shoulders above the competition. Finding Veda Designs was the door way to a rabbit hole that living in the vanilla world does not prepare you for. Every door opened led to another path and before I knew it I had conversed with several girls in the adult entertainment business, the kind of girls that I refer to as true "smarty pants". For two years my focus was to provide a unique service unmatched by any other. I fell in love with this lifestyle or business which ever you choose to call it.
We made an instant connection and I knew I that had found a woman so smart that I was completely blown out of the water. I was amazed at the caliber of women in this business. I allowed my own personal judgments and acknowledgment of social stigmas to completely subside for the first time ever. I am woman and I was roaring. I was finally in front of women who approached this industry no different than any other. What a concept that was!
Meeshee’s boutique at Vertical Kitty showed me what one focused woman could accomplish in this business. I spent time on her many sites. Geisha Diaries was my next can of worms. I was enthralled by the articles and the level of business sense the women authors possessed. My head was spinning, passion, business and finances all wrapped up in a very erotic bow, sexy indeed! These women were proud of who they were and they put it all out there. Talk about seeing the power of the feminine spirit right in front of me! I read an article written by Claudia Cole and immediately knew I wanted to work with Eros Films.
I had to put on big girl panties everyday and be very clear on my intent and focus
Before I knew it I was dealing with a web designer, a photographer and a copywriter, interviewing 3 film companies and determining exactly how Bendy Girl should be branded. It was time for an assistant and systems to be put into place. This was no time to skip a step. Working with Eros Films was not an easy decision but as the universe had it Mark was scheduled to be in Santa Monica and a decision had to be made rather quickly. Mark took time out of a business trip to meet me and discuss business. The level of professionalism that Eros Films offers is phenomenal. Eros Films made my experience easy and accessible. We planned and worked together during the entire process and it is definitely "our" film.
When I began writing this article my film had not yet hit the internet
Sharp, immediate, intense - these are the words that explain the ramifications of the trailer. From one day to the next my emails increased from dozens to more than 500. I remember telling Meeshee that I had to get ready. I felt a tsunami in my bones. That tsunami knocked me all the way to Santa Barbara where I found my new home and now live in paradise. Creating the film was the best business decision I've ever made and my move was the greatest gift I ever gave myself. Praise be to the goddesses who prepared me as the angels whispered in my ear months earlier, "Chicken little, the sky is falling."
I sat with Mark and Rick from Eros Films as we drank wine and talked about business. These sexy, gorgeous men expressed their passion for the business and the women who "owned" it. I never once in my entire life felt like a "normal" woman. I sought romance, passion, lust and true connecting of the male and female spirit. Monogamy and I were never friends and I am not even sure if we were ever acquaintances.
I wear my sexiness and sensuality much like a conventional woman wears a dress or a pair of shoes
It's something I naturally put on every day. My whole life I had to suppress the femininity and the girly – girl in me. I was told over and over again that I was simply a nymphomaniac. In my new world, these qualities are revered and sought after by many. It's very laughable indeed when you really think about it. Everything I was taught to believe by family, society and cultural norms was now completely skewed. I came to realize that I lived my life in a twilight zone. I live a life that I could have never made up. I wouldn't have even believed it. This girl who was never once asked out on a date now had some of the most intriguing, educated gentlemen in front of her.
It's funny to me when I read in a forum that providers can't possibly love our job
There are degrees and sub cultures in this world unlike no other. Not all business people are successful. Only the cream rises to the top in any industry. Loving what you do will shine though in any job and being the provider of passion, sensuality, affection, adoration and a genuine connection is absolutely no different.
Your career must become a lifestyle. It all must flow naturally otherwise there will be disconnect and something will break. Ask the poor RN who has worked 12 hour shifts and never left the time for her own personal health and family. My guess is she does not like her job and this is a woman who holds the health of others in her hands. In case you are wondering, I played that game for a awhile and I dare you ask what career I prefer. Stairway to heaven if I dare say. That's what it felt like to me. Every stone turned, every conversation completed and every connection made solidified what I had always known and yet suppressed.
Yoga, meditation, martial arts, Ayurveda, and Qigong all teach us to find a path that allows our spirit to fully shine. Life taught me that this does not happen in a two-story house surrounded by a picket fence. It is born in the core of our being. We are human snowflakes and no two are alike. They may dance in the air together for a while but eventually they flutter their own way. I held within my hands the license to be me, all paths led here and acceptance was deep. The snake rose, Shakti was alive and the Sanskara flowed in straight from the Rishi's. I know the longing Rumi speaks of in his poetry, that longing for the connection that is only ours and no one else can possibly comprehend the depth of the longing until your own thirst has been quenched. At that moment, understanding felt nothing less than pure ecstasy and rapture.
The branding of Bendy Girl brought with it the understanding of the woman behind Bendy Girl
The old saying, “Be careful what you ask for” definitely applied here. Much like clients who see me, this experience has left me a very changed human being. My qualities that were unacceptable to society and made me feel less than for so long eventually became my liberation. I found a place for passion, sensuality, lust, eroticism and pure pleasure through the exchange of energy with other light beings. I do not seek gold, I hold it in my hands and I offer it to others. I thank my amazing team for holding my hand along my path of discovery. Bendy Girl bows at the feet of all the guru's who lit my path along the way. The journey was mine and mine alone but without a road map, a journey leads nowhere. The knowledge and wisdom shared by the greats in this industry were not lost on this Bendy Girl. Namaste. Shanti Shanti Shanti.
Written by Geisha Diaries Guest Author, Bendy Girl