There are some things we don’t decide to do. They just happen. Not that I’m the type who falls victim to circumstance, but I think my situation just evolved to the point where my friend turned Sugar Daddy when he became a white knight, a rescuer, someone always there to solve problems. Victoria Krush

Therein began a cycle of me falling into crisis mode whether real or fabricated so that he could “fix” it.

A series of deaths in his family brought extreme wealth overnight. He had never been more than middle class at best, suffered from a drug addiction and had plenty of friends (if you consider felons, bikers, whores, drug dealers and a couple of estranged children in their 20’s as such). He was quite depressed, distressed and overwhelmed. The first time we met, he actually cried most of the session. After jumping on the bed, a few laughs and his frown turning upside down he gave me a huge tip and I was on my way.

We touched base later in the week where I remember him asking for the magic monthly number required to get me out of dancing. My answer was a firm $12k and that came with a credit card and a brand new white Jaguar. Of course, I didn’t stop working on the side but to the best of my recognition he didn’t really mind, as long as I came when beckoned. The requests were always outrageous – orders of up to 4 to 5 girls at a time in cities sometimes over 1,000 miles away. Money was never really an issue, except that he used to pay with a check, so there were infamous races to the bank before he could wake up and decide whose check he felt like canceling that day.

I suppose I sought security, as would most people in my situation

The “Pretty Woman” or “Cinderella” stories about being a Sugar Baby are candy coated illusions. The icy truth is that ultimately a Sugar Baby is doomed from the beginning because the relationship with her Sugar Daddy is based loosely upon a financial premise. It is definitely riskier to have one or two Sugar Daddies who fully support you exclusively, because if they throw a fit or make a demand that you can’t meet, you are left with no recourse. Ultimately, they are the ones who can decide at anytime to quit seeing you and the arrangement is over! It’s not like you can file for unemployment, or sue them for firing you. This makes the entire arrangement tentative, unstable and dominated by control and manipulation by both parties.

I remember getting into plenty of fights with different Sugar Daddies. No matter whose fault it was or how upset or justified were my actions, I was the one who ultimately apologized, because $5-20k was on the line.

I was involved with my main Sugar Daddy for 4 years

Simultaneously, I was involved with another man whom I ended up marrying, believe it or not. But the relationship was extremely violent. We would fight and I’d leave for a week or more, come back with a new car or even a new place to live. My Sugar Daddy would give me a huge chunk of money so I could start fresh. I performed this 3-way dance for the duration of my marriage.

If I noticed that a client was willing to giving me anywhere from $5-20k every time he called, he qualified as a Sugar Daddy

I met my Sugar Daddy through an agency for dancers during the time when I was dancing. I was lucky to meet him when I did. We became friends when he was at a tough place in his life and before I had any idea about his wealth. I genuinely needed the money to take care of my son and sure, the relationship facilitated an elevated lifestyle. It wasn’t extravagant but more a life with my child that gave me some degree of stability. I think he knew that I was driven by things other than money, so much that I would always speak my mind.

Life as a Sugar Baby is taxing both emotionally and physically. In essence, you are relinquishing control of your life and taking on a character roll like that of an actress

The heightened level of customer service that comes along with being a Sugar Baby is like that of no other position I can think of. It’s a form of sexual, mental and financial slavery. Please don’t take my interpretation of a Sugar Daddy arrangement in a negative light. Marriage is even called an institution, whereas gay marriage is referred to as a domestic partnership. I favor the latter term. My point is that Sugar Baby arrangements are far too often based upon false pretenses that foster control and manipulation by both parties.

Genuity in a Sugar Relationship is rare as we all know nothing comes for free.

Written by Victoria Krush, Guest Author for Geisha Diaries