I felt then and still believe that a Dom can only appreciate her sub if she sees the world through her eyes” Guest Author & Dom, Selena


The journey alongside my dymion has been an adventure I never could have predicted and certainly would never change. Our relationship began in an unorthodox and somewhat controversial way. Though I always had a curiosity about BDSM and perused various fetish and BDSM images on the internet, I had never dated a submissive before (or at least none who would admit to being submissive). Then, I met dymion.

We began as colleagues and friends in a typical vanilla scenario

After work, we spent hours talking about anything and everything. As the relationship grew and trust was established he became forthright about his lifestyle. We had the discussion before we ever had sex. He knew in his heart that he was a submissive and wanted to begin the relationship without secrets or skeletons. I have always admired him for that. I knew the basics of BDSM, but I listened in fascination and surprise to his personal preferences. After that initial conversation, I remember a quiet walk back to my car. It was a clear, peaceful night but my mind was racing. Safely buckled in and about to put the key in the ignition I paused, compelled to pull out my phone and text him. Without much thought, I typed the first thing that came to my mind, “I still think you’re perfect!”

I can only assume he was relieved I didn’t freak out or judge him. I’ve never really asked him how he felt just after admitting he had a “dark side,” but it was a brave confession and it intrigued me more than ever. I began extensive research. I viewed pictures, blogs and networking sites for alternative lifestyles until finally, I reached a moment of truth. I asked Dymion, my future submissive, to teach me about dominance and submission (D/s).

My preferred method of learning the D/s lifestyle has often been criticized by those who declare themselves authentic dominants

But I don’t care. I felt then and still believe that a Dom can only appreciate her sub if she sees the world through her eyes. We did a scene: he the Dominant and me the submissive. We experimented with a little of everything: sensory deprivation, bondage, a little bit of pain (not my thing!). All of it was really an amazing eye opener. The experience taught me what he liked and allowed me to discover something in myself. It also gave me a strong foundation of appreciation for the trust one must have to surrender to the power exchange.

For several months we would switch and explore

Eventually I found myself far more comfortable in the Dominant role which is now my exclusive preference. We reached levels of intimacy I had never imagined and I knew our chemistry in and out of kink was an indication that my soul mate had finally found me.

It has been 3 years now and we have settled into our roles in every aspect of our lives. We have daily rituals. He is attentive and agreeable and I always get control of the remote. (Really? Football is on Mondays? I didn’t realize…too bad we’ll be watching Rupaul’s Drag Race!).

I feel beyond fortunate to have crossed paths with my soul mate and I still think he is absolutely perfect

Though day-to-day life always presents challenges, the D/s dynamic works for us and serves as an integral way for dymion and I to connect, stay grounded, and recharge from the vanilla world. There probably isn’t a lesson here, but I do hope my experiences will demonstrate that no matter your bliss or the path you take to reach just make sure that you find it.

Written by Geisha Diaries Guest Author and Dom, Selena