“The utterly divine worship of the female form superior to the male form in every way”

 Dominance is a mental, emotional and physical state manifested through something as simple as a gesture or soft-spoken word. It is the underlying tone of commanding, assertive and unwavering control.


 There are no questions. There are no niceties and there are no pleases. The only permissible replies are:

  • “Yes, Mistress”
  • “Thank you Mistress”
  • “My life is not complete without you, Mistress.”


Mistress, may I please lie at your feet and kiss your boots?”

a client once begged.

Miss Veronica Volt

In my world, this perspective is paramount. It is not the whip that inflicts the most pain but the deadly glare, the sadistic smile or the crushing disappointment of a submissive when he fails to please his Mistress. To maintain superiority, a Mistress must enter a “dom” state of mind from the beginning of the scene to the end.

Submissives, Check Your Egos at the Door

Control is not necessarily kinky. How often have you struggled with a client for control of an appointment and the client has attempted to diminish that control by changing date, switching time or playing mind games? The situation is familiar in any profession. A Mistress must master control and maintain the upper hand of her slave. Cultivating a dominant mindset is critical not only in business but in your personal life as well.


Dominance is not synonymous with bitchiness


Miss Veronica Volt

New Mistresses tend to struggle separating the two. A loud voice does not instill fear in a slave. But it will give you a sore throat. Real fear is infused when you glare at him silently as though he were scum and he is trembling because he doesn’t know what he has done wrong (maybe everything, maybe nothing). Power is projected when circling him and judging him ruthlessly rather than yelling at him for his incompetence. Of course he’s incompetent. He’s a man, a slave for your bidding. He’ll fuck up everything, naturally. It is your job as a Domme to guide and mold him into the ideal, willing slave.

 Dommes, Don’t Let Emotions Cloud Your Judgment

Herein lies the foremost step to losing control. Keep distant from personal slights and remember that you’re the boss. He came to you for something. You possess what he desires, automatically giving you the power. Do not think about the money because it is irrelevant. You will always find more business. He must earn and respect your presence and remain submissive at all times.


Do not be Challenged by Consultation or Negotiation

You call the shots and get the final word. If you are even remotely unhappy with the arrangement do not go through with it. Most important is that you end the scene with a smile on your face and hopefully his as well. Asking questions implies submission. Speaking to your client using assertive statements and allowing him to reply will ensure your dominance.


Reinforce Your Authority by Always Following up on Threats

If a client tests your limits with even the slightest discomfort by back talking, insulting or touching you, warn him. If he does it again, terminate the session and mean it. Stand your ground. Say it with conviction and provide no refund.


Disrespect is a waste of your valuable time and justification to charge him. If he crosses that line again, show him the door with ease and refuse to take his calls. If he comes back, chances are he’ll behave with more submission and respect. Personally, I will not take back a client who displays such behavior.

It doesn’t matter whether you’re a mistress, a masseuse, an escort, a stripper or just a regular woman. The art of control can be applied by anyone in any situation as long as the state of mind remains focused and void of emotion.


After all, this is a business like any other.

Written by Veronica Volt, Dominatrix & Guest Author for Geisha Diaries