“When I was a little girl, my mother instilled in me, “Anytime you are out with a man you should never have to open your pocketbook.” I grew up thinking there was nothing unacceptable with what society deemed a Sugar Daddy and what my mother thought men should do, naturally.” Butterfly Sugar, Sugar Baby & Guest Author for Geisha Diaries

Right out of high school, I dated older men in their 30’s. There was the apartment that needed to be paid for, food in my fridge and pretty things to wear. At the same time, I was never with a gentleman based solely on his net worth. I actually liked the men I dated. I am too honest to be with someone just for their money.

Life with any of my Sugar Daddies has been a wonderful blend of traveling, gifts and financial allowance

One of my favorite trips was to Hawaii, first class all the way. Of course, I was lai’d as soon as I arrived, literally & figuratively. A limousine transported me to a stunning, cliff side resort. Our room overlooked the beach below the cliffs while the calming sound of crashing waves surrounded us. For a week we enjoyed multiple trips to the spa, sun bathing, sipping strawberry daiquiris, dining on delicious seafood dinners and the most blissful sex on the balcony looking out at the ocean with a light mist coating our bodies. There were lights at the bottom of the cliffs to attract manta rays. One night we talked about the beauty & grace of the manta rays feeding & swimming below our balcony. Those are priceless moments.

On my first trip with a former Sugar Daddy, we stayed at the Four Seasons Hotel. He gave me spending money and let me charge anything to the room. He was extremely considerate by arranging adjoining suites separated by a living room so there was no pressure for something to happen that wasn’t natural. The morning after the first night, my period arrived a week early. I dreaded telling him that we couldn’t do anything, even if I wanted, fearing that he would turn into an jerk. To the contrary, he was very understanding and we had a great time.

One of my most memorable gifts was a pair of the coveted designer Christian Louboutins

Oh, what those red soles will do to a woman! The most thoughtful gifts I have received were a Tiffany’s silver pen subscribed with my initials, a Tiffany’s leather business card holder, and a Tumi leather portfolio.

He told me, “these are the tools you will need to start your internship and be successful”.

One of my worst dates with a potential Sugar Daddy was with a racist CEO. I arrived at the bar to chat over drinks then go for dinner. Here’s what happened:

Him: “What would like to drink? I chose this spot for the elaborate drink menu.”

Me: “Great! Wow, this drink book is pretty big. Let me take a minute to look it over.”

Him: “Let me help you get to the right section. You black people like that sweet shit, right?”

Me: (dumbfounded) “Wow, really? One could view you as a racist for the question you just asked.”

Him: “What? I am not racist! It is scientifically proven that black people like sweeter stuff. See, you’re the problem running around claiming everyone is racist!”

Me: “I didn’t say you were racist. I stated one could view you as such with the question you asked me. Secondly, I do not go around claiming everyone is racist nor am I the problem. And, I definitely have not ever heard of such research, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. That also does not mean that your question was any less ignorant or abrasive.”

I left him in the middle of the date. I told him I was going to the bathroom and then leaving. I guess he didn’t believe me, because during my cab ride home he called but did not leave a message

On an initial date I look for things such as:

  • Ease of conversation
  • Mutual comfort
  • Whether he’s genuinely interested in who I am or more interested in just talking about sex
  • Whether he takes the lead in broaching the topic of allowance
  • Gifts or money which are a pleasant surprise and much appreciated (and gain extra points) but in no way expected.
  • Talk of coverage for rent, food, utility bills.

Having already obtained my Bachelor’s and Master’s Degrees, I am currently pursuing a Doctoral degree. An arrangement with a Sugar Daddy means not having to worry as much about balancing class attendance and an internship with paying student loans, seeking part time work that fits my quirky schedule while magically pull pennies from heaven to pay the rent. As a student, little luxuries are almost non-existent on a shoe string budget so stress can mount. Gifts, spa treatments, or any extras from a Sugar Daddy are a joy.

The disadvantages to dealing with a married man are the emotional & spiritual ups and downs

Support is limited no matter how badly he would like to give more. So while I may be the positive, upbeat cheerleader he needs, it is not equally reciprocated. Sometimes this upsets me.

When I’m sick in bed with the flu, he may not be able to bring me chicken soup

or massage my feet. But beautiful flowers may arrive at my doorstep, tenderly saying that he is thinking of me. Depending on how often I see my Sugar Daddy, physical satisfaction may not be as frequent or fulfilling since I can’t get that “sexual healing” as often as I may like.

Ideally, I would like to have just one Sugar Daddy in a mutually satisfying and beneficial relationship. But there have been times when I’ve had one, two or even three. It just depends on whether my needs are met.

Financial support usually comes from gentlemen who are at the top of their game

The knowledge and wisdom they inherently provide is priceless. The Sugar Daddies in my life wanted to see me succeed in my educational and career goals. So their mentorship is much wanted, needed and accepted.

Butterfly Sugar, Sugar Baby & Guest Author for Geisha Diaries